‘Take a deep breath, nothing matters anymore’- says the yoga instructor. This is supposed to help fight anxiety. ‘Well, Democritus and every single scientist who came after would highly disagree: Isn’t everything matter? “Matter is fundamental to existence” didn’t they say? So, doesn’t everything matter?’ I think as I try to steer academic knowledge, what “really” matters into a thought that isn’t graded. Shout out to atoms for the straightforwardness in their purpose.
Teachers tell you your grades matter. But isn’t it just a way for them to feel a sense of accomplishment and simply get the reassurance that they are ‘good’ at their job? Everyone and their mum say your mental health matters. But isn’t it just a way to not have you killing yourself on their conscience? As presidential elections approach we hear YOU MATTER springing from every street corner. Yeah. We all see through that.
But do we?
What matters is a better world, a better life, a happy life right? But what is that? We’re told we achieve it from discipline, hard work, a successful career in finance. Educated and rich=happy. Then what do we see? Wars, rigged voting, lies, our favourite sport teams’ outcomes being tampered with because they were sold, Antarctica ont the way to disappear (the environment only matters when a limited-edition-nature-themed-Stanley-cup is out).
When our eyes open, what we see is actually everyone deciding what matters the most FOR THEMSELVES. A sense of purpose blackened by the prospect of power and monetary gain, by greed. We’re told what to do, how to do it, what matters. But, to quote P!NK, ‘What about us?’. We’re proud to pull all nighters all week for exams, we act benevolently because that’s what ivy leagues would want from us. Aren’t we wired to do it? We witness depression rates, suicide rates rising, world happiness indices plummeting. So, what about all the times they said they had the answers? That singer was onto something.
But deep down we know. We know it when we have a laughing frenzy with people we love over silly jokes, when we sit and simply enjoy learning in that one class and feel genuine enlightenment, when we ‘reach flow state’ doing what we love to do, when a friend sends a heartfelt TikTok about us sharing a wholesome friendship, when we feel that tinge of genuine delight after lending a hand. When we feel happy. Yet, what is it that makes us most of the time stay blind to what matters? Probably the illusion of life that we are taught to chase.
We know who are deciding what matters, but the real question is whether we are ready to take the decisions ourselves, to shut our ears to what, genuinely, I’d call lifestyle propaganda— To take a deep breath, dive into the abyss of feelings, of unfiltered unhypocritical-ness, that we forcefully bury deep inside our minds, and decide what matters.
~Tania Jeebodh