My heart is racing. My mind is whirling. Heart or mind, mind or heart. Fire flows within me. Water splashes on my skin. My blood pumps through my body faster, it rushes through my arteries straight to my muscles. Electrical impulses fire through my brain. It doesn't stop. What's the right answer? What's the wrong answer?
And I twirl and twirl and twirl. Back straight, even breathing. My head up, my hands in a perfect arabesque. Music travels through and the sound vibrations reach my heart. Or is it my mind? The plaintive song, a mournful tone. The edge of my toe drags on the floor before falling into a grand battement.
The pale green walls spin with me, my surroundings a blur of colours. When they criticised me, did they do so with their heart or their mind? When they hurt me, did they do so with their heart or their mind? When they made me cry, did they do so with their heart or their mind?
Heart or mind? Yes.
Do I scream because my mind tells me to or because my heart willed it?
Instinct or reason?
Passion or logic?
Does my mind make me twirl or does my heart push it to do so?
The bridge picks up and my chassés quicken. Then it stops. Do I have the answer to the question?
The heart or the mind? Isn't it like choosing which part of your body to cut off? Like choosing which member of your family deserves your love the most? Like choosing between life or death?
My muscles burn with effort. Sweat drips down the small of my back. My silver leotard sticks to my skin. My legs tremble with exertion.
Heart or mind?
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
The rain hammers against the windows. My hand brushes against the smooth beech wood of the barre. My leg gracefully raises in a jeté. My eyes dart all over the place, nervosity dominating my features.
Heart or mind?
The sound of my pointe shoes dully slamming against the dark wooden floor echoes in the room accompanying the rhythmic movement of my body as it falls into an arc. The ballad crescendoes as I twist and turn my limbs into the right steps.
Heart or mind?
Someone once said; “The heart yearns in a silent war with the mind's certainty”
Heart or mind?
No. It is not a choice that can be made. It is not a question that can be answered. They work together in tandem, guiding you through life. Not heart or mind but rather heart and mind…
~Mégane Kameereddy